I'm Perry'lyzed: Part II

This is the second part of a three-part series entitled “I’m Perry’lyzed”.  Check out Part I here.  Tune in to cafeGAINZ later this week to see Part III.

I have to be honest; I'm getting mixed reviews on this series.  Some love it (Johnny GAINZ), others (everyone else in the entire world except maybe Mr. Perry himself) are ambivalent.  Whatever...all I've ever heard is if you're passionate about something, do it.  I'm passionate about Perry's voice and its ability to raise one's level of performance, and I'm certainly passionate about GAINZ, so screw it.....the three part series continues!  Without futher ado, I give you Part Deux.

7. “You've been picked and it's over, What's that chip on your shoulder?, Outside were solid rainbows, Inside is where the heart grows.” - Ask the Lonely.

These lyrics keep me and my big ego in check.  The message is as clear as day:  I, Wesay GAINZ, have been handpicked by Steve Perry to write scripture about GAINZ, so I must be thankful for the honor bestowed upon me and I must not walk around like a chump.  (Sorry, that kinda made me seem like I have a big ego.)

8. “It's been a mystery, and still they try to see, Why somethin' good can hurt so bad.” – Who’s Crying Now.

This one’s easy.  Allow me to quote from the GAINZ Lexicon:  “Legageddon [leg-uh-ged-n] - noun - a great and crucial conflict; the final battle between good (GAINZ) and evil (ANTI-GAINZ); basically the hardest, most excruciating, nauseating leg workout one can do: I ate 3 breakfasts, stretched for 30 mins, warmed up for 30 mins, and prayed all in anticipation for today's legageddon.”  That is all.

9. “Troubled times, Caught between confusion and pain, pain, pain, Distant eyes, Promises we made were in vain, in VAAAYYYYEEEEIIIINN, innnnn vaaaiiiiinnn!!!!” – Separate Ways ( Worlds Apart ).

Obviously this one deserves a video.  Here you go (SONY BMG MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT is hating on the embed action).  Again, I must go back to Legageddon.  These lyrics ring true in between squat sets when my heart is beating at a hummingbird’s pace.  Indeed, those are troubled times.  Let me to be curt: If I’m not cheating myself, I’m usually on the verge of chuking (aka barfing).  And I’m definitely caught between confusion and pain, pain, pain.  There are in fact distant eyes scattered about the weightroom peering into my soul and asking me, “You got what it takes?” and “What the f$@k is wrong with you?”  Well let me tell you something: Promises were NOT made in vain, in VAAAYYYYEEEEIIIINN, innnnn vaaaiiiiinnn!!!! 

10. “It's sad, oh there's been mornings out on the road without you, Without your charms, Oo-Ooh, ma-my, my, my, my, my, my” – Lights.

I’m sure you’ve had that feeling before when you get a song stuck in your head and it just won’t go away.  Well, when I haven’t made it to the gym or to the track in a while, for some reason, these lyrics start creeping into my head.  And I can’t turn them off until I go say “what’s up?”  Going to the gym or track is literally the only way I can get the lyrics out of my head and resume being a productive member of society.  But still, there are a lot of worse things that I can think of than having this great song stuck in my head. 

11. “You make me weep and wanna die, just when you said we'd try, Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other” – Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’. 

This is what happens when your spotter, workout partner, or brother-in-arms tells you he’ll meet you at the gym in 15 minutes, but then bails.  That was kind of a sad note to end things on, but I’m saving the last 4 songs, and a special bonus song, for Part III.  Train Hard!

This concludes Part II of "I'm Perry'lyzed".  Remember to tune into cafeGAINZ later this week for Part III which will analyze songs 12 thru 15 on the Journey’s Greatest Hits album!