Heeeeeeere's Johnny

My first name is Johnny, and GAINZ is not my middle name…it is my last. For all you loyal readers of cafeGAINZ, this is J. GAINZ checking in for the first time. My first post should be a memorable one. Therefore, I want to talk about my two passions. Making GAINZ (obviously) and women......and sports. Ok, that’s 3, but all three are closely related. Women love guys who make GAINZ, no one is going to argue that. Playing sports is a great way to make GAINZ, which in turn will probably get you more attention from the ladies. But it works both ways....men love women that make GAINZ too. And if your into people of the same gender...well, same theory obviously. GAINZ is GAINZ. I won’t write too much about sports at this point, but just remember there are plenty of ways to stay in shape; surfing, biking, and playing basketball are all great ways to burn calories and have fun at the same time. Calories don’t always have to be burned on a treadmill or a track.

Back to passion #2. Speaking from a guy’s perspective, there’s no better feeling than having a woman compliment you on the GAINZ you’ve been making. Hearing an attractive woman say, “wow Johnny, you look really good,” or “Jeez, Johnny, have you been tweaking your workouts a little? You are looking a lot bigger (or slimmer, whatever my goal is at the time)” is awesome. It alone is almost a good enough reason to make GAINZ. Notice I used the word ‘almost.’ As great as the compliments and attention are, know this: they are not why I make GAINZ. I make GAINZ for the GAINZ of it, period. Everything that comes with it is just extra. We at cafeGAINZ call those guys who make GAINZ strictly for the opposite sex posers, fakes, or fugazis. They don’t embody the true spirit of making GAINZ. Making GAINZ should be all about you. Be selfish about making GAINZ. Feel good about the work you put in. You should be happy that you are adding years to your life and losing inches in your waist…that’s the real prize. And if you’re getting noticed while strolling on the beach for your sick GAINZ...well, that’s just icing on the cake!

Here is a great war story from a recent GAINZ making session of mine. I was doing a J. GAINZ certified Legageddon about a week ago. I was on my 5th and last set of squats and I was exhausted. I was doing sets of 20, so one set lasted over a minute. When I went to take the bar off the rack for this last set, a new song started on my iPod player (yes I bought an iPod…thank you Bob Sanders, I will explain later). It wasn’t just any song; it was a song I knew would get me through these last 20 reps. The song was “Civil War” by Guns N’ Roses. For all you fellow Guns N’ Roses fans, I don’t need to explain the song or explain how the song starts off. For all of you unfamiliar with the song, go and purchase it or download it legally…NOW. Let me tell you, it is worth every penny! I started my set at “So, you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it! Well, he gets it!” This set me up perfectly for what I had planned. Right at the point where the bar felt like a million pounds and I thought about racking it, Slash starts wailing on the guitar and Axl screams, “My HANDS ARE TIIIED!!” It was like Axl was screaming at me, telling me to finish the set. After hearing this, I could have run through a wall. Needless to say I finished the set. With all the great years Axl gave me while I was growing up, I wasn’t about to let him down. If Mr. Rose ever reads this...Thanks Axl, for the great music and getting me through a Legageddon.

- J. GAINZ