Now anybody even remotely familiar with me knows that sitting behind a desk all day is G.M.'s version of H-E-double-hockey-sticks. How does a professional GAINZ-making machine react to such an environment? (GAINZ MAKER:desk job; Gizmo:water). Talk about a sure-fire way to hate on GAINZ. But in the interest of putting my education to use, decreasing my scholarly debt from the neighborhood of $100,000.32 to $0.00, and bringing something better than a $5.00 gift card from Best Buy to upcoming holiday gift exchanges, I accepted. Plus, I realized NOTHING can keep a true GAINZ-maker down.
Rather than sulk the rest of the day, I decided to take a trip to my "happy place." That's right, I headed to the gym for one last workout as a free man. Since this was a pretty emotional GAINZ-making session (remember, impending desk job), I'm gonna keep most of the details private and just stick with the highlights. Just know that tears were shed. Here's some of went down:
Started with a stretch of the pecs since that was the muscle group I planned to train. During some warm-up push-ups, however, I noticed a sharp pain upon full contraction on the top of my left shoulder. A warm-up set of DB bench press confirmed that said sharp pain was not imaginary, probably the result of owning the basketball court for seven straight games (then coming back for three more) the night before. Plan B called for Tri-Force i.e. shredding my triceps.
I began with cable pressdowns since I hadn't performed them in a while. Once a staple in G.M.'s repetoire, I initially didn't know what made me think to do them today. It really has been a long time, old friend. Upon self-relfection, however, the answer became quite clear: The cable pressdown is a simple, novice movement...something that one performs early in their GAINZ-lifespan. With the new desk job weighing on my mind, my subconscious prescribed an exercise that would take me back to a much simpler time....to yesteryear. Needless to say, the prescription worked like a charm and the rest of the workout was unmolested by modern life.
Next I did single-arm DB extension while bridging a swiss ball. Yeah, that's right.....I said it. In between sets something rather shocking occured. A man (who more closely resembled a bear) shifted seemlessly from standing shoulder raises to some type of uber-judo, tai chi form. It was really quite an amazing superset, and looked something like this:
Remember, the actual guy looked like a bear so the video probably doesnt do the spectacle justice. But you know what? This bear-dude was making legit GAINZ so he gets props from GAINZ MAKER.
After my near bear-dude induced coronary I perused some single-arm underhand cable pulldowns. Nothing remarkable happened here except the sick work I was putting in. Last came sixty weighted dips. Oh, I also fortified my core and played some basketball but that deserves its own separate post.......Yahtzee!
I'll be behind a desk........but see ya on the floor!
p.s. RIP Sean Taylor
gizmo was a mogwai, yes?
ReplyDeleteok wait, more comments. whats wrong with cable push downs? that shizz has been a staple forever. how does one evolve past cable push downs? whats a swiss ball? why do you have video of yourself doing manbearpig judo?
ReplyDeleteyes, gizmo was a mogwai
ReplyDeleteyo, nothing wrong with the cable pressdown...in fact, I love adding it to my "Back to Basics" routines. (note to self: add Back to Basics to lexicon). But it really had been a while since I'd done them. Lately, I've been more of a simultaneous-single-arm-skull-crushers-on-swiss-ball-guy or a single-leg-single-arm-pulldown-guy (for balance). (note to self: add swiss ball [and variations] to lexicon). Swiss ball is those balls you see people doing abs crunches on.
ReplyDeleteabout the judo, the post explains it was a reenactment of bear-dude.